[Screen fills with photo of a blond[ish] woman wearing black-rimmed glasses, most of her features obscured by a hand playfully raised to block her image from the camera. She is wearing Dr. Seuss pajama bottoms, a fraying, olive green, long-sleeved t-shirt, a gray bathrobe, and electric-blue Uggs that are lightly flecked with bleach spots.] Deep,…

In relating the story of my tragic third and final choice of dress for my wedding last September, I am reminded of the old saying that, before you take an aphorism to heart, you must first make sure that it is not stupid. For example, let’s examine the saying “Dress for the job you want…

Folks, I cannot tell you how embarrassed I am to admit this, but it looks like I might not be qualified to give you advice about mid-life marriage after all. Because, as it turns out, I have married the wrong man. Again. I know what you’re thinking (because, like a bug in the headline of…

As the morning fog lifts above the garbage bins and my Nissan Rogue and the workmen taking the first of their seventeen breaks on the retaining wall across the street, I am reminded that it’s that time of year that every mid-life bride should embrace: late September, when cool nights pass into days brushed gold…

If memory serves, it was the Stegosaurus in Dinosaurs Divorce who taught us that it’s okay to be angry over a breakup that affects you. But if memory doesn’t serve, and just makes you go up to the counter and get your own recollections, it’s possible that it was the T. Rex. Or, I don’t…

Select the best response for each question in order to find out which exciting thing you are that I was too busy to write about over the summer because we were packing and unpacking and repacking and then moving that same stupid barrister bookshelf thingie a million times and I never got a single moment…

Back in the day, in that time between legally becoming an adult and actually becoming one (which, for me, was roughly the span between the ages of 18 and 32), we used to drink a fair amount.  And by “we,” I mean “me,” and by “fair,” I mean “a lot.”  And because I have always…

  Have you ever had that thing happen where Life gave you lemons and you squeezed them into a big frosty pitcher, and you were all “Yay me, making lemonade!” and then someone took a drink and started making noises like “pah” and “urkh” and “blggk”? That’s because it turns out that you need more…