Bucket List

bucket

  • Switch cleansers (poss. try “7th Generation” (?) b/c more eco-friendly; also, Mr. Clean likely source of rash).
  • Deep Web search “Liza,Dear” for poss. defense witness w/r/t Bucket v DearGeorgie defamation suit. Saul: Def. “hole” too broad?
  • Ask Cats & Dogs switch wknds in June (Cousin Pail wedding; 15th? Check evite).
  • Urban Dictionary user-generated ala Wiki? If so, change def. from “troll sex” immdetly. “Incestuous slurry”??? Poss. alternative def.: To Bucket means to be extremely cool or to do something extremely cool (“He bucketed the novel and won both the Man-Booker and the National Book Award”).
  • Remind Saul pursue KFC Cease & Desist (false representation! Box not Bucket of chicken).
  • Also Saul: eviction notice sent Drop? Feel like still here.
  • Netflix “Bucket of Blood”—accdg IMDB, comedy. Srsly? But: Roger Corman! How have not seen before??
  • Revise limerick b/f podcast recording—NPR not use “fuckit” rhyme on air. Sub “suckit”? But: change meaning? Also, accdg Jonathan, Nantucket cliché. Jonathan cliché. But: island junket? Jimmy Buffet? Gah. Google.
  • Interview Mom re Carrie appearance for Chapt. 7/memoir (confirm Sissy Spacek “kind of a jerk” [M. glad no stuntwoman]; verify settled lawsuit re permanent red dye stains destroyed film career [not alcoholism]).
  • Chng FB cover pic Willy Wonka (Wilder NOT Depp); profile pic – Charlie. Status: “Another Famous Bucket!”/smiley emoticon? No: winky b/c irony (Charlie human).
  • Do NOT forget ask Saul contact ALS foundation again—need receipt for 2014 ASAP!!! Accdg IRS, Ice claim entire charity deduction, so my half inadmissible?? “Ice Bucket Challenge,” not “Ice Challenge”!! Ice fall on heads by self?? Ice is asshole.
  • Cnsdr contact Ancestry.com re clear maternal Pail line link to Jack/Jill/Hill incident. BUT: DNA sample reveal drug use? RESEARCH 1st.
  • Next Celebrity death: copy/paste comment “OMG [s]he kicked the ice?” evry Facebk post. Fnd out how Twitter/ditto.
  • DVR Knicks game.

About Heather Aronson

Heather Aronson is a freelance writer and editor. She earned her MFA in Creative Writing from the University of Arizona way back in the 1980s and has put it to scant use ever since, publishing a few short stories in now-defunct magazines (including American Short Fiction) and storing a handful of novels in now-defunct boxes. She lives in Pittsburgh, PA, in a new house with some of her children, her new husband, and a bunch of old stuff that totally doesn’t go together. Especially the cow creamers.

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