Finding the Imperfect Dress for Your Mid-Life Wedding


Part Three

From the Desk of the President of Meanopause

Hello, friends!  We hope these warm greetings reach to you in a happy autumnal setting this five and twentieth day of this month!  Also reaching your happy family with the hand outstretched!

In the sadder vein of the moment, we are sorrowful to learn of offensive readers.  We do not wish for the offensive!  Contrary to popularity, Meanopause does not discriminate.  Be tall, for sure!  Yes, we let you.   Also be of any genders or other demarcations, including imaginary!

Sure, come back here soon for advice!  Okay, thank you.


Not Heather Aronson, who is lowly staff who cannot speak for the company unless to answering the phone on the Wednesdays.

Also, please do not call on the Wednesdays.

About Heather Aronson

Heather Aronson’s fiction has appeared in American Short Fiction, CRAFT, Farmer's Market, Mid-American Review, MonkeyBicycle, Sonora Review, Story, and Witness. Her stories have been finalists for the 2019 CRAFT Flash Fiction Contest and the 2021 Story Foundation Prize, and her story "The Side of the Road Forever" was the winner of Sonora Review's RAGE fiction contest in 2022. Her story "What You Know" was nominated for The Best Short Fictions 2020. She holds an MFA in Fiction from the University of Arizona and was a Fellow in Fiction at the University of Wisconsin’s Institute for Creative Writing. She lives in Pittsburgh, PA, with her husband and some of their five children.

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